Fear – more than just being afraid

No one can escape this year’s health crazy making, and I don’t mean to undermine the legitimate threats that are present right now, but I can’t help shaking my head figuratively at what great lengths people are going to in order to give themselves the illusion of safety against this notorious Coronavirus.

The news is making people believe they need to stay inside their home, cancel travel plans, wear masks in public and according to yesterday’s WHO (World Health Organization) report only 1.5-3.47% percent of people who actually contract the virus have died. The CDC estimates that of those who were hospitalized last year due to influenza (common flu), as many as 10% of the cases resulted in fatality.

Most people are just like me, the flu season comes and goes every year and I haven’t taken a flu shot even a single time. Some years I get it, chew some vitamin C, drink plenty of water and sleep it off.

In case you have forgotten, you will die. So will every single person that you know. And there is no guarantee of exactly when and how it will happen. Even when some of us try to take death into our own hands, forces outside of our control sometimes have different plans for us than we intended.

Over dinner last night, my boyfriend’s father who is in the middle of his second bought with prostate cancer was sharing with us about his experience with a disease that has already cost him his prostate and has a track record of taking its victims to the grave in 10% of cases after 5 years of diagnosis.  He said people are more nervous to ask him about his cancer and how he is doing than he is to talk about it. He shared that the idea of having cancer is much more terrifying than it is to actually live with it. He walks around every day with an illness that may take his life and his attitude is that “you just learn to deal.”

This kind of acceptance, learning to live life on life’s terms and not allowing any circumstance or situation disempower one’s ability to take life by the balls and paint the town red – is without a doubt one of the most courageous outlooks I can ever imagine. I am just so in awe of this man who is not just battling cancer (AGAIN) but he is FUCKING LIVING! And then again, something in me really does believe that if it were me, I would do the exact same thing. Much of the time, I’m unable to appreciate what I have until it is gone. My life is no less or no more threatened – I’m going to go when I’m going to go. And it’s up to me to break the denial that eventually my time will be up. I gotta take the bull by the horns while I have the time. Coronavirus threat or not. Perhaps I’m “stupid”, but really think it’s that I refuse to let fear control my life.

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